To Christmas Or Not To Christmas, That Is The Question

By Erin Deborah Waks

It’s the most wonderful time of the year - or so they say, until you throw in sub-Arctic temperatures, busy season at work and this Nice Jewish Girl’s internal debate about just how far she can take the Christmas festivities this year.

I’m a big fan of all the trimmings that come with December. It’s no surprise, I‘m sure - everything about hosting dinner parties, decorations, cute wintery activities and, naturally, consuming numerous hot beverages just screams Erin. Normally, I dabble in much of the Yuletide fun. But this year, the lines began to blur as, living with non-Jewish flatmates, Christmas celebrations beyond what I usually deem acceptable as a practising Jewish girl were put on the table before me.

If mulled wine, mince pies and a full Christmas dinner were permitted by yours truly, why was I so opposed to having an advent calendar?

If fairy lights, a wreath on the door and Christmas music blaring from speakers was totally fine in my book, why did the purchase of a Christmas tree make me uncomfortable?

If baking a Yule log, visiting Christmas markets and listening to carols were appropriate, why did the idea of giving and receiving Christmas presents set my teeth on edge?

I guess the lines I’d firmly drawn for celebrating what is, at its core, a Christian festival, began to shift as I entered adulthood and no longer rely on my parents to make ethical, moral and religious decisions for me. 

Growing up, we always marked the 25th December with a family lunch; and, while not accompanied by visits from Santa and presents galore, it always felt like a meaningful - albeit not vital - day. We very much jumped on the bandwagon of British Christmas celebrations, but were firmly reminded that we, as Jews, had our own important festivals and traditions to mark and to prioritise. Christmas was a bank holiday, a time for family, an opportunity to enjoy what British culture - innately tied up, in many ways, with religion - has to offer, but no more than that. 

This year, when the two overexcited humans I live with posited the idea of buying a Christmas tree, with one declaring, ‘My budget for Christmas decorations is unlimited,’ I couldn’t help but smile to myself. For me, it wasn’t about the tree. It was about the afternoon I would spend with my friends, making new traditions and memories with them.

I guess, then, I draw my lines based on the significance of said Christmas traditions. Things that bring that joyous human connection, that allow me to create everlasting memories with the people I love, will accompany me through the season. I’ll take what works for me and leave the rest. So, while I won’t be buying any Christmas presents, I will be enjoying, guilt-free, the human connections, bonding with my friends, and warm, welcoming Christmas traditions I so enjoy. 

The lines I will draw will be entirely hypocritical, and entirely different from all my Jewish friends and family around me. But they will be my lines, designed to create beautiful, meaningful connections and memories while still holding tightly to the Jewish traditions I believe to be so fundamental to who I am.