The Adult Sale Mindset

By Ava Siena Cohen

With the Black Friday sales starting and then the debut of the Christmas season, I’ve found myself thinking about my shopping habits. This is something I’ve been doing for a while, especially following a cross-country relocation, as I decided to donate about half of my wardrobe and declutter every section of my life. Currently I’m on a low-buy plan. I’m trying to be very intentional with my purchases and I try to finish items before replacing them. 

I’m not perfect. I still do like to shop and I will never be a makeup minimalist, but I have completely rewritten my relationship with shopping. I’ve formed what I think is a more mature way to go about it.

Let’s start 6 years ago. Freshly 18, living in catered university accommodation which had all the bills included. When the Black Friday sales came around I found myself placing orders for clothes I wanted, makeup items I wanted to try, and the pair of shoes I couldn’t justify at full price. I didn’t have anything to spend money on except for myself. Now, I recognise that this is not a normal experience in the first year of university, and I was in an extremely privileged minority, but it’s the experience I had. At that time in my life, I could treat myself during the sales, and treat myself big, without feeling guilty. 

The following year, the sales rolled around as usual - except this time round I had bills to pay and groceries to buy and, tragically, I had just worked out that cheese is actually expensive. I decided I wasn’t going to buy myself anything that year, as I definitely could not afford it. 

Spoiler alert: I did, in fact, buy myself two lipsticks that year in the sales. I didn’t run out of money, I didn’t starve, yet I felt extremely guilty about the purchase. Irrationally so, because one of those lipsticks is probably my most worn and definitely most complimented lip colour. 

However, I felt that buying a lipstick I didn’t need meant I had failed at being an adult: I had prioritised wants over needs. 

Thus, the following year in the sale I stocked up on essentials. I bought a lot of toothpaste. I felt like a real adult, using the sales in a mature way. Only the following week, I caved and bought clothes I definitely did not need, and at full price too, which made me feel just as guilty as I did the year before.

I’m three years on from this and have been through many stages in repairing my relationship with shopping. I tried many times to do a complete no-buy - and each time I failed at it. It was only this year that I realised restricting myself will only make me feel more guilty when I inevitably caved. 

When I decluttered my life before I moved, I made a list. Like a grocery shopping list, I wrote down what was missing from my wardrobe; knee high boots, a black mini skirt, button up shirts. These are items that I’m slowly looking for and slowly acquiring, making sure that what I buy actually is what I want, so I’m not overconsuming. 

With makeup and skincare I’m on a replacement no-buy. I don’t need another red lipstick so I won’t buy one, but I am allowed to buy a new mascara when mine is running low. I also recognised, after going through a really traumatic experience, buying something from my list, that I truly wanted, does indeed make me feel better. I decided I’m not going to fight that mindset.

So, when the Black Friday sales rolled around this year, I came prepared. My eventual purchases? Cleansing balm, I’m running low. A hot water bottle, my office is flipping freezing. A water flosser, my dentist is on me about flossing properly. The YSL skin tint and the KVD Beauty eyeliner, I’m running low on my skin tint and eyeliner and if it’s on sale I’m going to treat myself to something new I want to try. I’ve finally found my adult sale mindset; buy what you need, and find ways to treat yourself too.


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