Do We Have To keep Getting Our Nails Done?
Me with blonde balayage, a blow dry, fake tan, acrylic nails, false eyelashes - just for context ;)
Photo credit @Erin Deborah Waks
By Erin Deborah Waks
As women, we’re sold a perfect vision of beauty - and the salons that often come along with it. We’re supposed to have perfect manicures, hairless bodies, immaculate eyebrows and freshly blow dried hair. Here’s the thing, though. I don’t know about the next girl, but I hate getting my nails done. I mean, I love the end result, but the process is stressful, often judgemental and, above all, extremely expensive. I’m not even sure how, but somehow mine chip within 5 minutes, leaving me deeply frustrated. I usually hate the colour, too; but god forbid I complain and ask the nail artist to change it. I can’t be the only one. I know that when my own handiwork inevitably chips, I’m far less annoyed than when I paid £30 for it.
Instead, I propose the following: we relax with this whole obsession with perfect, pricey nails. Just do what one of my friends did, and buy a UV gel machine to use at home - two manicures in and she’d already saved £5. Or, you know, be like my best friend and just have perfect nails to begin with. Either works.
The same goes for waxing. I sit there in extreme pain for however long it takes, rethinking all my life decisions. It might feel great afterwards, but when the bill amounts to approximately the same as two front row seats to a West End show, I’m left wondering why I couldn’t have just gone to see Mamma Mia with my best friend instead. With my hairy legs along for the ride.
Don’t even get me started on facials. I know some people swear by them, but isn’t the fun of self care lying on the sofa with a Boots £1 face mask on, drinking green tea and watching old rom coms? Whatever happened to bingeing Hugh Grant films with whatever flavour you want seeping into your pores, from the comfort of your living room? Instead, I’ve got to take out a small mortgage and breathe as quietly as possible while a woman plucks and preens at my face, all in the pursuit of ‘beauty’. As for fake eyelashes, don’t we all think they just look a bit spidery? Can you girls even see properly? I genuinely want to know.
Then there’s whatever the hell ‘body contouring’ is. I’ll stand firmly against any permanent beauty care, I strongly believe our bodies are perfect the way we are. Contouring should be saved for glam makeup only, and not for parts of your physique which are supposed to jiggle.
The one treatment that is, however, well worth your time, has got to be a massage. It’s the only spa activity that’s actually relaxing - or that can’t be easily replicated at home. You’ve got to have someone trained, and nothing beats the full switch-off provided by a massage. It’s class. I had one in Marrakech recently, and I did actually feel like the zen princess I was promised. Expensive, yes, but worth it? Undoubtedly.
I don’t want to slam the professionals who work in the industry and do a fantastic job. I just know that many of us don’t earn enough to be splurging on things that don’t bring the results they promise. If they do for you, though, there’s no judgement here. I’ll never stop buying books and overpriced coffee, no matter how many people tell me I can ‘make it the same at home’. I just think some of us need to hear that we don’t have to spend an arm and a leg on beauty treatments to prove we take care of ourselves.
Anyway, I’ll get back to my Lush face mask, Poundland waxing strips, Barry M nail polish and at-home eyelash treatment. But hit me up if you find any 2-4-1 deals on massages…
